So, finally got around to reading Scarlett’s Strike Force. David procured a copy for me somehow. (Don’t ask.) And while I want to tell David, “Thank you.” It may come out as, “Fuck you.” That isn’t to say that I don’t respect my co-owner here. I do quite a lot. To his credit, he warned me that I was going in for a bad time. Richard Meyer from Diversity and Comics tried to warn me that I was going in for a bad time. My idiotic self didn’t realize how bad of a time I was headed into.
Trust me, it was a bad time to be had. As you can tell by the cover, this isn’t the Larry Hama version of the Joes. This is the nicely sanitized socialism world that Aubrey Sitterson wants to shove down your throat. A very hipster version of a very patriotic themed comic. Now, let’s not get things twisted here if you want to defend this vision of G.I. Joe.
Larry Hama wrote the books from his experiences with the military. At times, he did parody some of the ultra-macho John Wayne types you run into with the military. Lord knows I ran into one per every five soldiers. There’s also themes of culture, culture shock, diversity, loss and the bullshit every warfighter deals with once in their career.
That being said, my biggest complaint with Aubrey trying to tear the system down is that he has no actual grasp on how the hell the military works. And trust me, it’s not hard. During the book, there’s a scene between Roadblock and Duke (Who for some reason is not a Joe. Fuck you, Aubrey.) Duke gets orders from the Pentagon to vet new Joes, including one that is from the Travel Ban list, and he tells Roadblock as such. Roadblock throws a hissy fit like a child and threatens Duke. Who again, is a Pentagon officer now.
Anyone who’s even made it past boot camp knows that shit won’t fly. Elite soldier or not, Roadblock would find his ass serving at Ft. Wainwright in Alaska. (For those who don’t know, it’s a shitbag depot with shit weather.) Yet, in Aubrey’s world, disobedience like that is to be rewarded. This gives me the first clue that Aubrey knows shit about fuck related to the military. The other item is that Roadblock tries again to disobey orders and reinstate Snake Eyes. (Who was brig’d up because he tried to usurp Scarlett.) Which brings me to another point.
Soldiers trying to usurp their leader. That’s just bad discipline all around. Hama wrote a fast and loose Joe lineup, yes. However, he kept the discipline aspect in the Joes. They obeyed all orders from Joe himself, Hawk and Duke. Which is General, Brigadier General and First Sergeant (respectively.) Even if they didn’t like or understand the orders, they followed them. And that’s what Aubrey doesn’t get about writing a Joe story or military related story.
Socialist armies are only as as faithful as their options for food that day. It’s a means to an end, honestly. Which is not the way you sustain an army, honestly. The last socialist army, in theory, that was successful was the Red Army of the Soviet Union. While that army was successful, they fought to the last man in World War II. The most telling tale was that there are very few old Russian men. Socialism/Communism are theories for a reason. Practical real world options do not exist. Look towards Venezuela and it’s starving people.
And just think that people believe that a person who tries to portray himself as a heel persona is stable enough to keep the negative media off of himself and let his writing do the work. Just look at the shirt he wears. The man believes he’s smarter than the rest of his audience on his wrestling podcasts.
He carries that mentality over to his writing of said comics, as well. And it does reflect in the very splash page that refers to the roll call of the soldiers in the unit. Such as Rock and Roll, Shotgun Specialist. About that, by the way. Shotgun Specialist is not a true title, kids. Not even close to one. At best, the man or woman (it’s gonna happen) would be a Weapons Sergeant or Specialist. As much as people would groan at what I’m saying… Mention “Shotgun Specialist” at a bar full of veterans and you may hear, “You mean Breacher, right?”
Most Eleven Bravo Platoons use the shotgun as a close quarters and breaching tool, hence the Breacher title. It’s also used by the Twelve Series in the Army, as Engineering may or may not involve breaching doors when their detonating cord refuses to work that day. (Put that under the as rare as Aubrey Sitterson having a coherent though, by the way.) So, that term makes me chuckle like an idiot when I hear it. It also gives me the understanding of a person like Sitterson.
Aubrey Sitterson doesn’t understand why the fanbase turned on him. He blames people like myself and David for being “alt-right” for disagreeing with his view on how his book should be written. When, David is the son of a pair of New England Liberals and holds his own moderate liberal views. Myself, I’m the child of a traditional Conservative (former American Liberal) father and a very liberal Latina mother. They fight often about politics. Dad supports Trump, and Mom despises the man as a person.
And I did show both the copy of Scarlett’s Strike Force, neither one made it past page two. My father commented, “What is this hippie clusterfuck garbage?” The funny part is that my mother agreed, “This looks like it was written by a Bernie Bro.”
To elicit that response from my mother, who goes out of her way to disagree with any conservative viewpoints out of some ill-guided mission… It proves that Aubrey doesn’t even have the support of the people he wants to elicit it from. In essence, it’s a misguided book that deserved the cancellation it had received. If you want to find it…
You know where you can go to get it. Not ComiXology. It’s not worth 3.99 US. Get creative in where to go see it, if you absolutely must read this train wreck. I’d recommend you save the blood pressure points and prolong your health.
Lord knows, I should have listened.